Microburst!

So four of us are sitting on the front porch with the dogs and surviving cats, talking about the future and enjoying a cool breeze from a light rain shower. There's a little distant thunder.

In a matter of 2 or 3 seconds, the treetops start whipping around, and rain is flying across the porch nearly horizontally. We rush inside to shut windows; kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom have pools of water on the floor.

I recheck the front sidewalk:

Time for a new chainsaw.

Update: So I call BellSouth for repair this morning because the branch is resting on the phone line and I don't want to bring it down. I think I should be able to call the BellSouth service number in my phone book, because I keep getting phone calls telling me "BellSouth is the new AT&T!" But after going through one of those voice menus where the robot lady keeps checking my responses ("I think you said, 'bite me, robot lady!' Is that right?"), it turns out that BellSouth is not the new AT&T. Robot lady eventually says, "I'm sorry, our latest records show that 336-370-XXXX is not serviced by BellSouth."

So I call AT&T, which is not the same as BellSouth, where a new robot lady tells me "BellSouth is the new AT&T" (no it isn't!!), but eventually I talk so a real lady halfway around the world who tells me that they'll get someone to get the tree off my line by 6 p.m.