Saturday, March 12, 2005

My new business venture

I've just received an urgent e-mail from the Independent Commission of Eminent Persons (ICEP), offering me the opportunity to make millions of dollars, just by letting them use my bank account for the transfer of funds from deceased holocaust victims!

Do you think I should take them up on their offer?

Just kidding again! I'm convinced that these internet scammers have a sense of humor. I loved the invitations I got from Yasser Arafat's widow and from Saddam Hussein's daughter to cash in on their caches of PLO / oil-for-food money. If we're lucky, maybe I'll soon be getting offers from the Assad family in Syria, or the House of Saud.

But the Independent Commission of Eminent Persons? How can I join that club, I wonder? Is it like the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?

I googled the ICEP, and found a lot of great organizations. There's the Illinois College of Emergency Physicians, the Integrated Countryside & Environmental Plan, the International Conference on Electronic Packaging ("Electronic packaging in the next decade!"), the International Counselor Exchange Program, the Institut Consulaire d'Enseignement Professionnel, ICEP Design (nice music and images), and the International Cult Education Program. And don't forget the International Civic Engagement Project, the International Camper Exchange Program, and my personal favorite, the International Celebrity Exchange Program, "providing a marketplace for too familiar and worn out national celebrities to be auctioned to other countries, where there might be need and demand for such characters." Can I buy stock in this venture?

And let's not leave out Industrial Coatings and Equipment Programs, Inc., the International Chief Emergency Physician training course, the Instituto Costarricense de Estudios Políticos, the Interdisciplinary Career Enhancement Program for U. S. Customs agents, or the Berliner Institut für christliche Ethik und Politik.

But, believe it or not, there really was an Independent Commission of Eminent Persons, and Paul Volcker was its chair.

I wonder if there are any open seats.

1 comment:

Joe Guarino said...

You had me laughing out loud. Thanks for your creative handiwork-- it's getting to be indispensable.